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NaBloPoMo February 2014

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Wednesday
Feb052014

Take Me To Your Reader

NaBloPoMo Theme of the Day: You meet an alien and need to explain to it blogging. Explain what blogging is (and what blogging means to you) without ever using the word "blog."

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Uhm... okay I'll just jump in.

I'm at the dog park on one of these "frozen tundra" what-the-hell-are-you-doing-outdoors type days. We are the only ones at the park. I have frostbite closing in on at least 3 different extremities. A large glowing orb slowly descend from the sky. I walk closer to it because - at this point - my instincts are telling me "It could be a miracle fire pit that some higher power sent me to keep me warm. It would be wrong to reject it."

It's not a fire pit. It's an alien spaceship. But I still think it could be a heat source so I continue my approach. I'm going to die out here anyways.

This blobby being exits the spaceship and says "whathabyoudonetoblaytfatsprodumtive?"

I took that to mean "what have you done today that was productive?" cocked my head and answered "...well not much, I'll be honest with you. Did you visit my mother before stopping here? Uhm... well, I took the kid to school. I cooked something that is sharable, I drew a bad picture and wrote a post."

I noticed that Buford was now sitting inside the spaceship. He looked warm. I'm not sure I could fit in there. My claustrophobia was at war with my survival instincts. Boy, are those aliens gonna be surprised when Buford pees in there. Hope they have astro towels.

"fablist a plosht?  neeek."

"Excuse you. Well a 'plosht' as you call it, is a way of cutting down on therapy appointments with strange doctors. This way you share it with ALL strangers - and if you are as bad a writer as I am  - you never hear a thing back about it. I think I have 2 readers in Korea. And then one of Yenny's family members. See this way, all the stress is out of your head and you can put it behind you. As if you had actually done something about it. You may also learn how to spell better in the process. I mean I'm waiting for that part... but I hear it's possible."

"Neet may yorb claw Moscato."

"No I hate Moscato. Too sweet. It's like the only wine I won't drink."


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