A Crow Named Asshole

I have a flying rodent issue. mmmhmm.

And it's not one of them. It's a bloody couple. I hadn't realized I had named them until my son got into the car after baseball practice and asked:

"...so were they at the house again today?"

" ... Who sweetie?"

"asshole and stupid bird."

"... Oh.  <blink. sideways glance.>  ... Yeah. They were there."

In my own defense (as a sometimes lousy parent) these birds are terrorizing my neighborhood. I am being provoked.

Do you want proof? I'll give you proof. Neighbors are TALKING to me. I lent the lady two doors down one of Seamus's rubber snakes [don't judge me. I worked at the Discovery Channel. Swag and giveaways were different there.] [It rocked. Thank you again Tracy. I miss you.]

So, I loaned out a fake python to frighten Osama Bin Cawwing (that was so dumb. tee hee) away from her strawberry begonia. And again my son is like “I don’t think this is going to work” as he holds the snake by it’s tail at the bottom of the stairs.

“Well then go out into the yard and kill it with your bare hands. That will keep it out of my flowers.” He blinks. He’s 8.

“Do you really want me to do that?” brow furrowed.

I stopped what I was doing and regarded him. As if I had just asked him to go to Beirut. As if he knew what Beirut was.

“I want you to deliver Slytherin to Ms. Nancy next door. She lost a crate of geraniums yesterday. This is a short term solution. It’s what the internet told us to try. If I thought you were a ninja and the crows were Canadiens - I honestly would ask you to go out there take care of this for me. Soprano’s style. And this close to Mother’s Day, I’d kind of expect it of you. We’re being attacked by crows. Soldier - do as you are ordered. Go.”

He pondered this for a minute as he twirled the rubber snake and then called for the larger of our dogs to walk him the short distance.

He’s into safety. I'm going to show these frickin birds.

For reference... people like this guy are not helping the cause. Watch it only if you don't have sound. The sound is borderline unbearable. Take a moment to appreciate that there is no smell-o-vision.

and then there is this. An example of Manahatten at rush hour if people were ducks.

Office Warmth

So a few weeks ago I mentioned that some of the people who work with me .. well they dread interfacing with me.

I'm not wanting to have long talks in the hallway. I just expect people to make eye contact.

I have not peed in your workspace.

I have no bearing over your next promotion.

I have not stolen your lunch or hurt any of your relatives.

Look at me.

I am not smiling at you for some deceitful nor duplicitous reason.

I just occupy some of the same space... maybe deliver a passing smile.

These poor people. I wonder what the people who work with my mom do?

She is so much worse than me.

and she has the ability to kill technology on sight.

today is officially 'random thoughts day.'

[rejoice]

If anyone has cool links to internet gems - send them to me for Friday's Lunch Forum. It's going to rock. We're going to be talking about the Audio On Note App. Or at least I will be.

Last FLF we looked at these:

1.   Jetman (video)

2.  The Other Kiva Lodge (advert)

3. Andre Michelle Sound Lab Project (web site)

4. Introducing Apple’s iBooks (video)

5. The Tutu Project (web site) and Tutu Project (facebook profile page) Huff Post Article

6. The Google Art project (web site)

7. Reasons why Corgi’s are Really Great (list/article)

8. This Week in Discovery News (video)

9. iPad Slim Case Cover (product)

10. Imagine: How Creativity Works by Jonah Lehrer (book)

11. This is Pinterest (social media tool)

or you can look at my Pintrest profile by clicking the bug in the right sidebar of this blog >>>

Blue Peanuts

Yeah... except they are bugs. It's some sort of larvae farm. I was so excited when I thought it was blue peanuts in a weirdly shaped taco salad bowl.

...now I am only partly fascinated.

Nature is gross sometimes.

Work. Work. Nap.

My roommate was nice enough to tell me I work too much this morning.  At the same time I IM her this image. I think it sums it up for everybody in color.

Though she may be right when I have multiple people come up to me and ask, if I went home or slept at the office. 

Ask the Universe. The Universe Giveth.

So, two days ago, I asked for people to start talking around the office.
The universe is laughing at me.

Today was a lot like being at an all day assembly in 7th grade.Chatty group gaggles looking for a water cooler. Open gleeful yelling. People having group speaker conference calls from my office to an office 400 ft away. And conversation topics ranging from:

• "Does so-and-so hate me?"
• "Should I buy this shoe?"
• "Don's a turn-coat. Don't trust him with gossip."
• "Subway sandwich meats are made from 3rd world dogs not ham."
• "Don just came by and told me so-and-so hates what's her name. Is that true?"
• "Someone needs to use the bathroom on another floor... for christs sake."
• "Did you smell dufus's lunch? That sh*t smelled dead. Well, you know what I mean."
• "I have a vein in my head. Right here. It hurts me sometimes. Well, mainly when I'm here at the office."
• "Can I try your skateboard - or do you not share?"

Yeah. Today has been very different. I like different. People stopped caring if other people were mad at them and then just tried to be inane to each other - thus giving them a reason to dislike each other. It's more fun when it's on purpose.

We are a family again. Just in time for the weekend. Where we will spend days apart and come back on Monday not talking to each other, again.

Casey came by and gave me a gift. That she made.
Obviously.

<blink>

I suspect that she was left alone too long and had a lot of office supplies too near her person.

Look at this though. People with real honest to god mental disorders make shit like this. I like how she cut strips of the yellow folder and stacked them to gain some sort of density on the ... what is it?... the fan's support stick. I am absolutely in love with this brave disturbed object.

And at the same time I feel such a sense of sadness for the pathetic nature of the item. A sadness fan? Is that what this is? Even better is the creature taped to it. I believe she must have once been at a Burger King drive through in the late 90's. That is when the movie Ferngully was out. Qua? Isn't that where this creepy creature is from?

While playing with this "creation" on a conference call today I noted that the evil being actually lights up if you reach around it's back and push a soft spot between it's shoulderblades. I was momentarily horrified. Demon-ish yellow eyes peered out at me. I put it down and went back to the safety of corporate discussion.

Oh well.

Have a good weekend. I'm done for the day.